Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Urgent appeal

Please put down your binoculars for just a couple of minutes. Today we are asking you to spare a thought for a deprived section of our society which is going through hard times. They are in constant envy, born of checking their Twitter feed every few minutes to read what others have had.

We are talking about the DUNGENESS BIRDER.

These people are forced to roam across shingle and stare into empty bushes for hours on end. The skies above them are quiet. The seas are bereft of life. They have not seen rain and the accompanying falls for weeks. Constant exposure to such conditions is leading to an increase in neurosis, depression and a questioning of their ability in the field.

BUT YOU CAN HELP!

We are calling on the birding community to dig deep and help the DUNGENESS BIRDER by donating birds to them. It costs little and can turn their sad existences around.

For just a YELLOW-BROWED WARBLER you can give them hope that something better just might be around the corner.

For the gift of a PALLAS'S WARBLER you can give them the comfort of a good sighting at the end of a difficult day.

The donation of a RED-FLANKED BLUETAIL will put a wide smile on their miserable faces and restore their faith in the notion of birding.

The generous bequeath of a SIBERIAN ACCENTOR will give them a lifetime of memories and something to tell the next wave of NGB's when the species reverts to becoming mythical once again.

REMEMBER - next year, the lot of the DUNGENESS BIRDER might just become yours! So please, find it in your heart to give up a bird for this downtrodden set of people. They are trying very hard to make their ornithological way, and are in dire need of all the help that they can get. They really are becoming desperate.

Thank you.

10 comments:

  1. I was going to retire to Dungeness, but after this I'm going to New Zealand.

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  2. Mmmm, time you went home Steve, or join a twitcher group.

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  3. I wouldn't suggest going back home - it's even worse here in landlocked Surrey!

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  4. Ha, good one Steve.

    Couldn't people who suffer from DUNGENESS BIRDER be sent on a short holiday to Switzerland?

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  5. It would seem, to me, that Dungeness Birders have very short memories? Their time will come (again!) - stop bleating and grow some balls! - Dyl

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  6. Chin up Steve today is going to be `The day`, I can feel it in my bones, and hear Redwings flying over in the mist as daybreaks, another half an hour and I`m out over Lade, the Big One awaits...

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  7. Brilliant! But try being a Lancashire Birder in the avian wasteland of the northwest!

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  8. Thank you for all of your comments, supportive or otherwise!!!

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  9. If your appeal is successful please could you spare a few, even scarcities would do for Gwent Birders. To me your appeal whilst amusing reads like a resident of Kensington asking for some free oak for their Aga

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    1. To be honest John, Dungeness is becoming gentrified by all those arty types from London... it is clearly rubbing off

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