Cackling Canada, Richardson's Canada, Greater Snow - I'm struggling here to keep my eyes open I'm so underwhelmed. A small rare goose in amongst a gathering of hundreds of commoners does nothing for me.
Expensive and over-rated. The bubbles get up my nose, give me heartburn and then later a headache. Non!
As a spectator sport, mind-numbingly boring. A team of tall freaks run down one end and aim a ball at a hoop. Then the other team do the same but up the other end. Over. And. Over. Again. Sometimes one of them misses. Final score - who gives a damn.
Maybe I have never been blokey enough to become a biker, either an oily rough one or a clean Goldwing owner. I just about get cars, but that is only so that I can differentiate them by their colours, not the model.
This place has received absolute devotion from regular observers down the ages, who swear by its magical abilities to entice rare birds to linger awhile (and for them to linger themselves for days, nay, months on end). I just swear at its monotonous visual qualities - wide grey sky, wide grey water, long metal fence. Considering that I have seen Baird's Sand, Long-billed Dowitcher, Buff-breast Sand, Wilson's and Red-necked Phalarope here, plus a load of good ducks, divers and grebes, you would think that I'd be kinder to the place. I'd sooner stake out a Tesco car park.
Never worn a pair. Would feel like Mr Smith from The Matrix if I did. Or Roy Orbison.
Why faff around in the garden with coals that won't light and then either undercook or burn your food when you've got a perfectly good kitchen only feet away? I know, it's to smoke out your neighbours, impregnate their washing with odours of charcoaled chicken legs and pretend that you're having a great time while either sheltering from a shower of rain or exposing your lillywhite skin to harmful UV rays.
Darlings of the punk and rock intelligentsia. I could never listen to them when they were at their height, far to worthy and knowing for me. Went to too many parties where Sandinista went on the turn table.