Thursday, 9 May 2013

The Ten Commandments

You shall have no other Gods but me.
In other words, leave plants, bugs and such stuff alone, you won't be able to take it all in and as such you will become an even worse birder

You shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it.
Lee Evans, Bill Oddie, that bald bloke on the One Show - do not weaken to the lure of the celebrity however much it seems to be a good idea at the time. They will, one day, fall. Fame is a fickle thing

You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.
Don't say that you knew Peter Grant when you didn't

You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy.
So, put away your optics on this day and do things like normal people do

Respect your father and mother.
Don't keep nicking their car and money and remember that goodwill is a two-way thing - David...

You must not kill.
If they are older than you the chances are that you will, at sometime later, overhaul their lists when they die naturally, so bumping them off will just run the risk of future imprisonment. And you won't see much from a prison cell, will you?

You must not commit adultery.
Stick to your own patch, don't rush off to Staines Reservoir as soon as something good turns up

You must not steal.
Don't pretend that you found the goodie in the first place

You must not give false evidence against your neighbour.
As tempting as it is to spread rumour of a rival birder's propensity to string, does he really? Or does he just find more birds than you?

You must not be envious of your neighbour's goods. You shall not be envious of his house nor his wife, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour.
This could apply to his list, optics, books or the fact that he had the good sense to marry someone that doesn't give a damn about the number of days that he goes missing in the field or that he lives at Dungeness.

2 comments:

  1. Very good. Particularly 5 and 7, which sounds like me I think (apart from the fact I have been there twice this week and seen not a lot)!

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    Replies
    1. Number 7 does seem a good fit for you Neil now that you mention it!

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