What kind of birder are you? Answer these simple questions to find out... you must choose the answer closest to your honest response.
You find a Blue-cheeked Bee-eater. Do you
(a) tweet, Facebook and text everybody that you can think of
(b) thank the birding Gods for being so generous
(c) look the other way and continue to count Dunnocks
(d) wonder what that strange, colourful bird is before you
A friend offers you a lift to go and twitch a Houbara Bustard in East Yorkshire. Do you
(a) tell your friend that you are already on your way
(b) politely refuse because you saw the Westleton bird in '62
(c) ask them if there might be some Dunnocks in the area as well
(d) say no thanks and then try to find it in the Observer's Book of Birds
The Hythe Chinese Pond Heron. Was it
(a) without doubt, a proper lifer
(b) who knows, but then again who cares
(c) bigger than a Dunnock
(d) a made up bird name, a bit similar to 'our' heron but probably with yellow bits in the plumage
What is your UK life list?
(a) Between 450-550
(b) Not sure, gave up counting several years ago
(c) One. Prunella modularis.
(d) At least 50, possibly as high as 60.
What do you associate with the word BOOM!
(a) the appearance of a rarity
(b) annoying f*ckwits
(c) a population explosion among Dunnocks
(d) a First World War howitzer
Which birder would you most like to be compared to
(a) Lee Evans
(b) Peter Grant
(c) The bloke who wrote the Dunnock account in BWP
(d) Tony Soper
Seawatching. Is it
(a) something you sometimes need to do to string a rare pelagic
(b) something to be savoured
(c) something that you don't stand a chance of seeing a Dunnock on
(d) a chance to watch a few ships passing
What do you wear in the field
(a) combat gear, army surplus, green stuff, kill....
(b) whatever old stuff is out at the moment and fits your expanding frame
(c) tweeds - like muted Dunnock greys and browns
(d) safari jacket, cravat, monocular in top pocket
If you answered mostly A
You need to get a life - or a girlfriend. Ditch the camo gear and do something for yourself for a change, rather than driving all over Britain because everybody else that answered 'A' is also doing so. Or it might just be that you are Lee Evans.
If you answered mostly B
You are a well-adjusted birder, most probably good looking, have many friends and are shit hot in the field.
If you answered mostly C
You are a Dunnock. Or a member of the BTO. Or both.
If you answered mostly D
You are Tony Soper. Have you thought about taking up rambling as a side-line? Or even brass rubbing?