Friday, 4 April 2014

Bohemian 'Chinese Pond Heron' Rhapsody


RIP Chinese Pond Heron - found dead last week in Hythe (with apologies to all fans of Bohemian Rhapsody and Queen)

Is this a real tick?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in confusion,
No escape from reality.

I open my eyes,
Look up to Hythe and see,
I'm just a twitcher, I need your sympathy,
Because I'm not easy come, easy go,
I tick a few, but some say no,
Anyway the splits go, it really does all matter to me, to me.

Someone, just killed Pond Heron,
But took away its head,
Left some feathers, now he's dead.
Pond Heron, life-list had just begun,
But now you've gone and died and flown away.

Pond Heron, ooh,
Didn't want to see you die,
If your not back on my list this time tomorrow,
I'll carry on, carry on, although it really, really matters.

Too late, your time had come,
Sent shivers down Birdline,
The Grim Reaper calling time.
Goodbye, Pond Heron, you had to go,
Gotta leave us all behind to find the truth.

Pond Heron, ooh (anyway the wind blows),
Didn't want to see you die,
I sometimes wish you'd never turned up at all.

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Lee Evans, Martin Garner, will you do the identification?
Remiges and retrices,
Very, very frightening me.
(Can I tick it?) please tell me.
(Can I tick it?) please tell me.
Can I put it on my list?
Magnifico!

I'm just a poor birder nobody understands me.
He's just a poor birder divorced from his family,
Spare him his life-list from this monstrosity.

Easy come, easy go, but will you let me tick?
It's a Squacco! No, we will not let you tick. (Let me tick!)
It's a Squacco! No, we will not let you tick. (Let me tick!)
It's a Squacco! No, we will not let you tick. (Let me tick!)
Will not let you tick. (Let me tick!)
Never, never let you tick
Never let me tick, oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, Mr Evans, Mr Garner (Evans, Garner, let me tick.)
Chinese Pond Heron has a tick put aside for me, for me, for me.

So you think you can fool me and blind my birding eye?
So you think you can deny me and leave me to cry?
Oh, Pond Heron, can't do this to me, Pond Heron,
Just gotta tick, just gotta get a tick outta this.

(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
It's a Chinese Pond Heron,
That's all that matters to me.

Anyway the wind blows.

(Dedicated to those of you who spent far too much time sitting in a car on top of that Hythe hill waiting for the pond heron to 'fly in')

8 comments:

  1. Possibly your most sublime post ever. FACT!

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  2. That's pure quality, well done.

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  3. Steve, my guests enquired as to who was belly laughing at 6.30am! Pure genius, keep `em coming.

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  4. Gents, thank you for your kind words.

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  5. Utter genius, nice to see great humour in the birding community, reminds me of the days of Not BB! Keep up the great work.

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